


Have You Ever Seen Me

by taishige



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, TOKIO
Genre: Gusshige awkward first times, Leader being super embarrassed, Leader the blanket blob, Long-winded PWP that takes forever to get to the sex, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 15:25:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1693208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taishige/pseuds/taishige
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never perfect the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have You Ever Seen Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'd been wanting to write Gusshige first time for a little while now, and I finally sat down and just did it. Awkwardness abounds. I'd also wanted to write something about the phone call Gussan made to Leader that one night when they were juniors, so it was like killing two birds with one stone!
> 
> This is way too long-winded for what it is, but whatever. My PWPs have been getting so long lately.

The sky had been darkening since mid-afternoon.

And by the time dinner's over, it's pouring.

Joshima and the younger kids in the dorm had gathered in the tiny kitchen area eating soup and sanbei, the youngest ones shrieking whenever a flash of lightning lit the sky. Now Joshima stares out his bedroom window as the rain pitter-patters against the glass pane, calming after his busy day of getting yelled at, cajoled, and berated.

It's cold. The tiny heaters in each of the rooms are already working overtime, and summer is well behind them now. Winter is closing in quickly—the only big thing left before December being his nineteenth birthday.

And what a grand birthday that would be.

No doubt holed up in his room.

Again.

Nakai is out. SMAP has some TV shoot in Ehime, so the room is his for the night, for better or for worse.

Better, perhaps, because he's not in the mood for chatter. Or much of anything. The rain is dulling his senses. He doesn't even feel like pulling out his guitar—something he usually takes advantage of when Nakai is away. He's almost tired, in fact, the sound of the rain making his eyelids droop as he lies prostrate on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

He could fall asleep right now.

He could.

He rolls over and checks the nearby clock. Only 8:33. He rubs at his eyes. Too early to sleep. Even with a 5:45 wake-up call, he can't justify an 8:30 lights out.

But surely a moment to rest his eyes isn't out of the question.

Wrapping his arms around himself, he curls into his oversized sweatshirt and pushes his face into the pillow. There's a boom of thunder from outside, and the window pane rattles. It sends a shiver up his spine, the occasional lightning flashing across the room and making the tiny space light up like a star shower. Or like the flash of a camera.

Too many cameras.

He rubs his eyes again. He doesn't want to get in front of a camera again for at least ... four days. But he knows that's impossible. He has another shoot tomorrow. And a reporter is coming to interview them the day after.

He'd rather stay in his room and play his guitar.

Or sleep.

Yes, sleep. He could sleep. Right now.

His eyes close.

There's the far off sound of a phone ringing, but he pays it no mind. It's out of sight and out of mind. One of the younger kids will get it. Nobody important ever calls this late at night anyway. Usually it's early in the morning.

It's silent then. Silent aside from the rain and another crackle of thunder. Then. A knock.

"Shigeru-kun. It's for you."

One of the kids is peeping inside his room, voice a half-whisper. Joshima groans and pushes himself to a sitting position without thinking. He runs a hand through his hair, annoyed, then follows the kid out of his room and down the hall to the shared phone in the living room.

"Hello?"

His voice is sharp when he answers. He'd been so comfy. Why'd someone have to interrupt him when he'd been just ready to fall asleep? He brushes his mussed up bangs out of his eyes, watching as the kid from earlier sits down the other kids who are playing some racing game on the Super Famicom.

"Shigeru-kun?"

His brain refocuses at the sound of the voice.

"Yamaguchi?"

"Shigeru-kun, I don't know what to do."

Joshima brings a hand to his head and instinctively turns away from the TV. It's hard to hear Tatsuya in the phone. He sounds far away. Muffled, somehow. But there's something wrong in his voice. Something very wrong.

"Yamaguchi, what's wrong? Where are you?"

Tatsuya's voice catches in his throat, and Joshima realizes he's crying. "I had a ... a fight ... a big fight ... with my parents. I don't know what to do. I ran away."

"Ran away? Where are you? What happened?"

"I don't know. I don't know anymore."

Tatsuya's voice crackles and fades out for a moment, and Joshima realizes he can hear rain in the background. Through the phone—not from outside the dorm.

"Yamaguchi, are you out _side_? Where are you?"

"... I don't know. I don't know where to go. I don't have any money! What am I supposed to do? I can't just ... th-they told me I need to be more responsible. That I'm too old to keep hanging on to things that'll never happen. But I can't just throw everything away! Shigeru, what would _you_ do?"

Joshima gets caught up for a moment in the way Tatsuya throws out his name without a suffix or anything, but quickly recovers. He wipes at his forehead, sweat already gathering along his hairline and worry clouding his heart.

"I'd get out of the storm, is what I'd do. Yamaguchi, do you even have anywhere to go? This is a pay phone, isn't it? Where are you?"

It's quiet again. He can hear Tatsuya breathing, then a sniff, followed by a shuddered sigh.

"... I got on the train. I didn't know what else to do."

"Got on the _train_? Where are you now?!"

"Shinjuku. I got this far and then realized I didn't know where to go. Maybe I'll just stay here."

"I'm coming to get you."

He says it without thinking.

"What?!" Tatsuya's voice goes up about three octaves in that way that always makes Joshima laugh. But he's not laughing now.

"You're not staying there. I'm coming to get you."

"No, you're not! I'll figure this out! I just have to ... have to think ..."

Joshima doesn't notice that the other juniors have stopped playing their game and are just watching him.

"Just stay where you are. Don't go back out into the storm. Who _knows_ what could happen to you, j- ... just stay there."

"Shigeru, no, don't you da-!"

Joshima slams the phone down. He's about to storm off to the closet and get his coat when he glances up to see five pairs of eyes on him.

"I, uh ... I'll be back in a bit."

 

 

He's soaked when he steps off the Yamanote line at Shinjuku. Even with his jacket on and his hood over his head, the rain is streaking his face, running rivulets down into his eyes and making it hard to see. He's shivering as he jogs down the stairs into the half-empty station and begins running towards the ticket gates.

He hadn't even asked Tatsuya where in the station he was. He could be anywhere. He curses to himself as his head swivels from right to left furiously. East or West? He doesn't even know which side of the station to go to. But Tatsuya would have ridden in from Saitama, which meant he was likely to be on the West side.

His shoes squeak—wet against the gray tile beneath him—as he jogs through the station. Past the stairs for each of the other lines. Past the cafe, a few salarymen enjoying their tiny espressos in solitude. Past the ticket machines lined up along the wall. He pushes out through the gates and takes the first stairs up. He'd been able to hear the rain in the phone, which meant Tatsuya had to be outside the station proper.

But where?

The ni-chome exit is the closest, so he takes the stairs two at a time and doesn't even hesitate before running back out into the rain. He spots a pay phone not far off, but it's deserted. Only a few people are coming and going from the exit, and the normally bustling district seems strangely empty in the storm.

The rain in his eyes is making it hard to see, and he wipes the moisture away, bangs damp against his forehead. He takes off around the outside of the station, south, towards the next exit, his shoes loud as they stamp across the shallow puddles on the sidewalk.

"Yamaguchi!" He cups his hands around his mouth, knowing it's most likely a futile effort, but trying all the same.

There's no sign of him at the next exit, but there's no pay phone either. Joshima's not even sure where all the pay phones in the station are. He feels tears of frustration build up in the corners of his eyes when he realizes he can't even be sure Tatsuya's _at_ a pay phone. He could easily have run off. Taken another train. Found somewhere to go.

But Joshima doesn't stop in his search. His jeans and shoes are sopping now, dripping water off onto the cement. "Yamaguchi!" Still no sign of him. He's south of the station now. Near the bus entrance. And nowhere near any pay phones.

He bites down on his lip until he can taste blood.

There's an overhang a few feet off, so he shuffles over to get out of the rain for a moment. It's bright beneath the overhead fluorescents, harsh against his eyes. He spies some cardboard boxes off in one corner and realizes he's in the homeless corner of the station. Worried about being seen, he quickens his pace and heads towards the other side of the open-air lobby.

"Yamaguchi ...?" But by this time it's not even loud enough that Tatsuya would hear it if he were nearby. His footsteps slow again, and he trudges to a walking pace.

He's tired and cold and he desperately needs a cigarette. He can barely even feel his toes.

He's beginning to think a cup of coffee in the cafe inside sounds pretty good when he catches sight of a familiar overcoat bunched up in a little ball beside the far wall. He stops in his tracks, unable to move for a moment as he takes in the droopy state of his friend crouched on the ground.

"Tatsuya ..."

He can't move for a moment, feet rooted to the ground by some unseen force. Then he's walking over, water still dripping off of him and his fingers numb. Tatsuya has his arms around his legs and his chin on his knees, his navy blue jacket bulky around his frame, but hoodless, and his hair is flat against his head, dribbling water down his temples and cheeks.

"Tatsuya."

Tatsuya looks up, and Joshima can see the remnants of tears in his eyes.

"I told you not to come."

"Fuck that."

Joshima's down on his knees with his arms wrapped around Tatsuya's shoulders and he's cold and wet and clammy, but he doesn't care. He clutches him tight, pulling him in towards his chest, and he feels Tatsuya's breath catch in his throat before he's crying again and then Joshima is crying too and both of them are sitting, sobbing, on the floor of Shinjuku station as thunder booms and an old, homeless man across the way is staring at them as he jacks himself off.

"You're gonna stay with me, OK?"

And Tatsuya just nods.

 

 

By the time they arrive back at the dorm, it's past ten, and most of the other juniors have gone to bed. The living area is dark aside from the lamp in the hallway, and only a few lights shine beneath doors as the two of them make their way quietly to the second floor.

The bedside lamp is still on in Joshima's room, and Joshima sits Tatsuya down on his bed. His rear end makes a damp spot on the comforter.

"I'll go get some towels."

Joshima returns with his two towels from his closet and a few of the questionable fair use towels from the cupboards in the bathroom. He drops them on the bed beside Tatsuya, who's already worked his way out of his jacket and is now struggling with his waterlogged sweatshirt.

Joshima watches for a moment, water dripping off his own clothes onto the floor.

"... here." He grabs the bottom of Tatsuya's sweatshirt, now up somewhere by the other boy's head, and gives it a swift yank. It pops off Tatsuya's head and nearly sends Joshima to the floor. They glance at each other with identical smiles, then Joshima unzips his own jacket and sits down beside Tatsuya on the bed.

"Your hair is soaked." Tatsuya laughs with a glance in his direction before grabbing one of the towels and using it to start drying off his own hair. He pulls it over his head like a hood, then pushes his face into the two floppy ends and rubs at his cheeks and nose.

"Like yours is any better." The arms of Joshima's sweatshirt are dark with moisture. He pulls the fabric up and over his head with a little puff of air, sending tiny water droplets flying out of his hair.

Tatsuya reaches behind them to grab another of the towels, this time piling it on top of Joshima's head. He gives the crown of Joshima's head a rough little shake with the palm of his hand, and Joshima bats him away with a whine.

"Stop thaaaaaat."

Joshima pushes the towel back up above his eyes so he can see, a little grin on his face despite the earlier complaint. He reaches forward to grab Tatsuya's towel, pulling it down over the other boy's eyes and ruffling his hair with it. Tatsuya's hands come up to push him away, but Joshima starts slapping his arms and uses the distraction to wrap Tatsuya's towel all the way around his face.

"You little shit!"

Tatsuya wrestles with his towel for a moment before yanking it off and into his lap. When he glances back up at Joshima, Joshima is half-hidden in his own towel, hiding the smile on his face with his hair sticking up in erratic, wet clumps and his fingers still tinged with the faintest hint of blue. Tatsuya leans forward almost menacingly, and Joshima backs up with an eep. His hand goes to Joshima's towel, and he grabs it away before Joshima can get a firm grip on it. Joshima responds by grappling out with his arms, smacks on Tatsuya's shoulder as he attempts to retrieve it.

Tatsuya takes advantage of their proximity to duck his head in and plant a kiss right on Joshima's mouth.

Joshima stills instantly.

His fingers are still gripped in the fabric of Tatsuya's t-shirt.

And his eyes stare ahead in owlish surprise, unblinking.

Tatsuya doesn't hold it long. Not more than a second or two—a chaste little closed-mouth kiss. He pulls back to see Joshima still just staring at him, cheeks tinged pink.

It comes at him without warning.

Joshima clocks him right in the chin. A shiner that hits him to the left side of his jaw and jerks his head to the side.

His hands go immediately to the side of his face, pain bubbling up beneath his fingers.

"What was _that_ for?!"

But Joshima's already up and off the bed, his face in his hands, hiding his eyes, and his shoulders hunched as he paces back and forth, back and forth.

"Y-you stole my first _kiss_!" Joshima's voice warbles in his throat. "J-just to be stupid! As a joke! You always do this! You play these jokes that you think are funny, b-but you just end up hurting people!" He turns at this with a glare, his face still half-hidden in his hands.

Now it's Tatsuya's turn to narrow his eyes. "What are you talking about?! I never--"

"I was saving that, you know! J-just 'cuz ... just 'cuz some of us don't have as much experience and are still waiting doesn't mean they can't have their special moment too. And here you had to go and take it without even asking just to mess around like you always do." Joshima begins walking back towards Tatsuya, his hand raised again.

"I wasn't messing around!"

"What?!" But Joshima's brows are still furrowed as though he hasn't heard and he's standing above Tatsuya with eyes like icicles.

"I said I wasn't messing _around_ , you dipshit!" Tatsuya reaches forward to grab the collar of Joshima's baggy flannel. "Maybe if you weren't so stubborn and airheaded all the time, you'd have noticed I kinda like you!"

Joshima's still again. Still and silent. Staring at Tatsuya.

Then he brings his hand up for another punch.

Only Tatsuya stops it with his palm. There's a sharp smack as his knuckles hit Tatsuya's skin.

Joshima swallows. Hard. His eyes seem to be wavering in their sockets.

Now it's Tatsuya's turn to look away. His cheeks have flared up, red spreading across his nose. And still Joshima just stares.

Stares for so long Tatsuya's worried his butt will fall asleep, Joshima's fist captured in his palm.

There's a boom of thunder that rattles the walls of the dorm and echoes throughout the room.

Joshima's arm falls, limp, down to his side, and he takes a step backwards. "Oh." He blinks. His lips are pushed together and his eyes are narrowed as if he's about to cry. "I, um. Oh. O- ... ok." He curls his hands into fists, then uncurls them. He turns away, one hand going to the back of his neck and scratching at his hairline.

Tatsuya feels his heart fall in his chest, his stomach tightening up. "Sorry ... I, uh ... I probably just made things really awkward, didn't I?"

Joshima's head angles downwards, and he brings both hands up to his mouth as if he were praying.

"... no one's ever ... said that to me before."

Now it's Tatsuya's turn to raise his eyebrows. He's not sure what to say. But neither is Joshima. So they both just stay where they are, silent and tense as the rain continues to pour just outside the window.

Tatsuya glances down at his hands, crossing and uncrossing his fingers.

"I guess I ... I thought that ... th-that maybe you might feel the same way. After what you did tonight ..."

Joshima brings his hands up to his face, covering his eyes.

"... I-I know it's kinda ... weird and all. I've never really liked another guy before. B-but I've only ever liked two girls before this. I did have a girlfriend. For like. A year and a half? Two years? I really liked her. I mean. I think I did? And the sex was good?" Tatsuya's words pick up speed as he talks. "And I think I could have lived with her, you know? But things don't always work out and it just kinda ended, a-and ... well, I mean. I'm here now, and. And then you, you're kinda like ... well, you're always there for me, and we've gotten really close, and m-maybe it's just 'cuz I've never had a friend as close as you before, b-but I get all those same feelings like back when I was dating Suki, and so I figured it had to be kinda the same thing and--"

"Kiss me again?"

It's quiet. But loud enough that Tatsuya stops mid-sentence with his mouth open and his spit stuck in the back of his throat.

Joshima still isn't fully facing him, but he brings his hands down, his shoulders lifting as if taking a deep breath, and then he turns his head, cheeks still red from earlier.

"I-I can't have _that_ be my first kiss ... can I? I mean, we can ... we can redo it ... can't we?"

Tatsuya closes his mouth. Then opens it again. Then blinks in rapid succession.

Joshima bites his lip, crossing his arms in front of his chest and giving the floor a little awkward kick with his toe. He walks slowly over to Tatsuya, still on the bed.

"Can we ... do it again?"

Tatsuya's face is blank for a moment as he stares up at Joshima like a deer in the headlights. Then he lets out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "S- ... sure, yeah, I mean ... yeah."

"What should I ... do?" Joshima scratches his temple.

"I, erm, well ..." Tatsuya's head swivels from side to side, taking in his already familiar surroundings as if seeing them for the first time. "You can ... here, um ... up on the ... here." He pats the bedding to his either side.

Joshima brings one knee up onto the bed, hands on Tatsuya's shoulders to support his weight before situating the other one on Tatsuya's other side. His fingers dig into Tatsuya's skin at first, but then he seems to relax just a bit, and he lowers himself until he's closer to Tatsuya's line of sight, now straddling the other boy's lap with his toes hanging upside-down off the edge of the bed.

Their faces are only a few inches apart now, and Tatsuya swallows hard.

"Yeah ... just like ... that."

Only Joshima's breathing so fast he's nearly hyperventilating. His grip on Tatsuya's shoulders tightens, and his eyes stare big and round and panicked into Tatsuya's.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down ..." Tatsuya's hands go to the sides of Joshima's arms, and he gives them a reassuring squeeze. "Let's not pass out now."

Joshima licks his lips, his breathing slowing.

"That's better." Tatsuya smiles, which soothes the other boy's anxiety even more.

He moves his hands upwards to take the sides of Joshima's head and pulls it towards him, at the same time, tilting his own head and half-closing his eyes.

Joshima's as stiff as he was the first time when their mouths meet. His lips are pressed tightly together and every muscle in his body is rigid. Tatsuya feels almost stupid at first, like he's kissing a wall. He waits a few seconds until he feels good and awkward before giving Joshima's shoulder a soft little pat and separating just enough that he can work out an "open your mouth."

Joshima does so, hesitantly at first, and Tatsuya is able to catch a better grip on his lips. They're not that soft, and they don't even feel that great against his, but somehow none of that matters. He pushes his head forward a bit, taking Joshima's cheeks in his hands and deepening the kiss. He feels the grip on his shoulders loosening, Joshima's fingers no longer jabbing into his skin, and he lets his tongue venture forwards, tracing the other's bottom lip in an attempt to get him to kiss with a little more fervor.

He hears Joshima gasp at the touch before pulling back a few inches. Joshima's face is already flushed, splotches of red painting his cheeks, and he has this strange look of confused vulnerability that Tatsuya's never seen on him before.

"S- ... sorry, I ... I don't really ... know what to do ..." Joshima's eyes dart downwards.

Tatsuya doesn't say anything, instead, finding Joshima's cheeks again and pulling the other boy's face closer so he can recapture his lips. He feels Joshima shudder against him, and this time Tatsuya wastes no time in letting his tongue cross the gap between their mouths. He traces Joshima's gums, works behind his teeth, and then finds his tongue, which recoils at first, then tentatively presses back against his, warm and soft. Tatsuya's fingers lace themselves through Joshima's hair, and he pulls the other boy's face tighter against his as he angles his head and sucks up on Joshima's mouth. Joshima responds somewhat instinctively by pressing his body tighter against Tatsuya's, groin flush against Tatsuya's lower stomach and making the area between Tatsuya's legs grown unbearably warm.

He relishes in the way Joshima's mouth moves out of sync with his own, unpracticed. There's something endearing about it, the way Joshima seems to be trying to copy Tatsuya's own movements a second late, hesitant at first, and then developing confidence as both of them grow needier, lips pressed against each other before parting, finding each other again, repositioning, hot and wet and making delightful noises in the otherwise quiet room as the saliva mixes in their mouths.

Joshima lets out a tiny moan that seems to surprise him more than anything else, and he pulls back, face even more red and his breathing labored. He licks his lips, eyes darting up and down and avoiding Tatsuya's gaze in shame. Then he's pushing forward of his own volition, re-finding Tatsuya's mouth and the whole process starts anew.

Tatsuya's lips tingle at the contact, at the abuse as their mouths come at each other, and the heat between his legs continues to grow. Joshima's body is flush against his now, skinny little lump of bony mass whose weight all seems to be centered on top of his dick, and he's rubbing, sliding against him, unknowingly, no doubt, but sinfully seductive all the same. The friction against his stomach, against his hips, against his dick, is starting to drive him crazy.

His hands leave the back of Joshima's head and travel down to his hips, his fingers dancing lightly atop the fabric of his shirt. He's unsure at first, shy almost in the way his hands falter, then he changes the angle of his head, and Joshima's tongue is entwined with his own all deliciously plump and irresistible, and he lets his hands travel downwards until they're cupping Joshima's rear end.

Joshima's eyes open wide just as he'd thought they would, and he separates with a little jerk.

Joshima is breathing heavily, his lips wet and just a bit swollen as he stares questioningly at Tatsuya. Tatsuya's hands haven't moved, fingers still pressed into Joshima's jeans, taking in the wonderful roundness, the soft curves, the inviting warmth radiating through that one little piece of fabric.

"T-Tatsuya ..." Joshima turns his head away.

Tatsuya tilts his head inquisitively. "... I'll stop if you want me to."

He half-expects another clock to the jaw, but fortunately, Joshima seems to have lost his violent streak and now he's having some sort of silent conversation with himself. He blinks his eyes slowly, lashes bobbing up and down. He glances back at him, eyes half-lidded and making Tatsuya's dick twitch inside in his pants, and then his gaze turns away again.

Then. So softly Tatsuya's not sure he even hears it at first

"... you can touch it if you want to."

Tatsuya's lips curl into a little grin. "C'mere." His hands go back to Joshima's cheeks for a moment, directing his head close enough that he can bring their mouths together again. Once the kiss has been re-instigated, Tatsuya's hands travel back to Joshima's rear end. His fingers curl around the plump mass, working it, massaging it, pulling it closer against him. He loves the way it moves and yields to the pressure from his fingertips, how smooth the curves are as his hands glide back and forth across the expanse, dipping into the crevice between Joshima's legs. It's delightfully inviting, each side fitting so easily in the palms of his hands. He works them separately, together, kneading them with his thumbs and fingers, around in circles as Joshima's lips move against his own.

He pushes his forehead against Joshima's, their mouths separating slightly as they both breathe in deep gulps, Joshima's breath shaky and stilted and Tatsuya's noticeably heated. Their kisses are long and slow now, separate, then together, Joshima's fingers curling softly into the skin of Tatsuya's shoulders and neck, his skinny wrists pressed against Tatsuya's chest.

Tatsuya's hands circle back around Joshima's hips along the edge of his jeans, stopping at the clasp. He begins working at it, fingers undoing the snap and pulling down the zipper.

Joshima lets out a gasp. His hands go immediately to his crotch, pushing Tatsuya's hands away as his back goes rigid.

Tatsuya cringes. "Sorry. I should have asked."

It's quiet again. And once more, Joshima seems to be working out some sort of internal conflict.

"... we're gonna have ... _sex_ , aren't we?"

Tatsuya scratches the back of his head. "Well, I, uh ... I mean ... I'm all up for it if you want to ..."

Joshima's body seems to curl up in on itself, his hands pressing more tightly between his legs.

"But we don't ... we don't _have_ to ..." Tatsuya rubs at Joshima's shoulders reassuringly.

Joshima still isn't looking at him, his gaze instead focused so intently down in his lap he's liable to burn a hole right through his jeans.

"... it won't hurt. Will it?"

Tatsuya's still massaging Joshima's arms. "To be quite honest, I have no idea. Suki said it hurt a bit her first time ... b-but we can take it slow and if you get really uncomfortable or something we can stop."

Joshima's quiet again. He looks so small right now, sitting in his lap, all hunched down and unsure of himself.

"... you wanna see my dick first?"

It's meant to be a comforting question, but Joshima's eyes dart up in embarrassed horror, his face going completely red. He looks like he could die from it, and for a moment, Tatsuya is worried he might pass out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's OK ..." Tatsuya laughs and runs his hands through Joshima's hair.

Finally, though, after a few seconds to calm down, Joshima gives a stilted little nod of his head, biting down on his bottom lip.

"OK then. Up, up." Tatsuya pats the bed next to him, and Joshima obediently scoots over onto the bedding, moving all the way towards the center of the bed. Tatsuya stands up and quickly pulls his shirt up and over his head, letting it fall to the floor. "You should feel pretty privileged, you know. I don't strip for just anyone." He shoots a smirk back at Joshima and is rewarded with a little laugh, which is encouraging.

He undoes the clasp of his jeans and pushes them down around his ankles, shaking his legs to drop them onto the floor. He then slides off his boxers—gray with blue and black stripes—letting them fall off to join his jeans. When he glances back to Joshima, he sees the other boy staring at him wide-eyed and silent.

He sits back down on the bed, crawling over so he's closer to Joshima.

"Why do you look like you've never seen a dick before?" He says it with a chuckle, but Joshima just coughs awkwardly into his hand. "You can touch it if you want."

Joshima rubs at his face, then moves closer to Tatsuya, sitting himself down so their shoulders are touching. He reaches a hand out, fingers trembling, and Tatsuya's jaw tightens when Joshima's palm wraps around his dick.

"See? Not too bad."

Joshima's face is still red, but he seems a bit more confident. His fingers are still at first, then begin running jiltedly up and down Tatsuya's length. He's only half-hard, the skin still loose as Joshima's hand works it, but tightening the more attention it gets. Tatsuya brings a hand up around Joshima's shoulder, stroking his arm with a satisfied sigh of his own as his dick stands up, Joshima's hand nice and tight around his girth and fingers unpracticed but doing a fine job of pumping the excess skin back and forth past his head.

Tatsuya buries his head into Joshima's shoulder, who tenses at first at the contact, his hand stilling, then leans into it, his fingers still shaking but back to work massaging Tatsuya's dick up and down, up and down. The head pokes out, pink and sensitive with each downward motion, before the loose, wrinkled skin slides upwards and encases it like a glove.

"Wonder what Higashi would say if he saw you now, huh?" Tatsuya chuckles, mouth half-pressed into Joshima's neck.

Joshima's hand flies off of Tatsuya's dick in response, both his palms covering his face in horror. "What if he walks in on us?!"

"Joh, Joh, Joh ..." Tatsuya can't keep the disbelieving smile off his face. "It was a joke. It's the middle of the night. In a storm. He's _not_ going to walk in on us."

"But ... but what if he _knows_?"

"Knows what?"

"That we're ... you know ... I-I mean ..."

Tatsuya rolls his eyes. "How in the _world_ is he gonna know that we fucked?"

Joshima winces at the word, still looking uneasy. So Tatsuya gently raises his chin with the side of his finger. "It's fine, Shige. No one's going to be able to tell. No one'll know. This is just between us. Our own little secret."

Maybe it's the way Tatsuya's looking into his eyes. Maybe it's the words he's saying. Or maybe it's the way he called him Shige. Tatsuya's not sure which one it is, but he sees Joshima's eyes calm. He leans his head forward to plant another kiss on his mouth, and Joshima closes his eyes as Tatsuya's lips slide against his.

"Show me yours?" Tatsuya raises an eyebrow playfully. He lets a finger travel down Joshima's chest to tug at the already unbuttoned front of his jeans. Joshima responds by glancing down at his crotch. He's visibly anxious, his eyes tightening and his mouth pulled back, but he grabs onto the sides of his pants all the same, pushing himself up to his knees.

"Here. I'll get it." Tatsuya turns to face him more fully, making himself comfortable atop the bedding. He finds the edges of Joshima's jeans and begins yanking them down around his hips and thighs. He ends up getting Joshima's underwear with them—white boxer-briefs with little blue seams—and the whole set comes down with three tugs.

Tatsuya blinks for a moment. Just staring.

He presses his lips together in a tight line.

Joshima's dick is tiny and dark, a little lump of wrinkled skin only half-visible beneath a tuft of pubic hair. Tatsuya suddenly understands why Joshima had seemed surprised at the size of his own dick.

As Tatsuya stares, Joshima grows more and more uncomfortable. His cheeks heat up, hands unsure what to do and entwining with each other again and again. After a few more moments, he can't take it anymore and shoves his hands between his legs before wrenching himself away and promptly falling sideways down on the bed. He curls up around himself with his hands still hiding his crotch and his jeans and underwear bunched up around his knees. "Y-you don't wanna have sex with me. I'm an embarrassment against natuuuuuuuure ..." His voice is whiny and muffled in the fabric of the comforter.

"What are you talking about? You're not an embarrassment against anything!" Tatsuya laughs and crawls over to try and push Joshima onto his back. "I was just ... a little surprised is all. You are kinda small ..."

This just promotes another wail from Joshima. He buries his face in the bedding and curls tighter around himself.

"B-but there's nothing wrong with that! Seriously!" Tatsuya's hand rubs Joshima's back, tiny little circle after tiny little circle. "In fact, it's really cute! It's like a ... a ..."

Joshima turns his head just enough to stare up at him, eyes bristling with tears. "Like a what?"

Tatsuya's eyebrows furrow. "Like a ... little walnut."

Joshima begins wailing again.

"Joh, Joh, Joh ..." Tatsuya cringes. "Let me just see it again."

"No, you're just gonna _laugh_ at me!"

"I promise I won't laugh! God's honest truth! I just wanna get a better look at you."

"You hate me! Just admit it!"

"For fuck's sake! I don't hate you! I've been pining after you the last year! Sure, I thought you were kind of an upstart when we first met, but then we started hanging out and practicing together and suddenly I couldn't get enough of your stupid little laugh. The way you crack yourself up at your own jokes. The way you look all bundled up in those huge sweatshirts you always wear. The way your eyes get huge when you're looking right at me, and ... and ..." Tatsuya's shoulders fall. "... and fuck, I think you're the cutest thing I've ever seen. I-I mean ... I've been imagining what you looked like naked for I don't know how long now! I'm a seventeen-year old guy! It's what we think of!"

Joshima's silent, his eyes studying the pattern on the comforter. Then he glances up at Tatsuya.

"Not quite what you imagined though ... is it?"

"Shige. It may not be what I imagined. But now I can't see any better fit for you. It's as cute as ... as ... well, _you_. It's every bit _you_. And fuck, if you'd give me the chance, I'd make you feel every bit as proud of it as I do right now."

Joshima looks like he's about to cry.

"I wanna see more of it ... give me a chance?" Tatsuya reaches down to let his thumb stroke across Joshima's cheek before moving down to rub his shoulder with a reassuring little squeeze.

Joshima turns his gaze away for a moment, closes his eyes, then opens them again. He takes a deep breath. "OK ..." Uncurling himself, he rolls onto his back with his knees still pressed together up in the air and his hands still cupped around his groin. But finally ... _finally_ ... he pushes his jeans down the rest of the way and parts his legs, pressing his feet firmly into the mattress to his either side and sliding his hands upwards to clasp fumblingly across his middle.

His eyes gaze up at Tatsuya as though he'd just entrusted him with his very life.

Tatsuya repositions himself between Joshima's legs, hands running up and down his thighs as he takes in the sight before him. Joshima's dick is no bigger than it had looked before, all small and curled beneath itself. It's a dark, brownish color, that same shade tracing all the way down between his legs to stain the valley of his rear, peppering up just a bit to color the cheeks themselves and darkest around the little hole nestled between them, all tightly-wrapped folds of skin pressed against each other and making Tatsuya's already upright dick give an obvious twitch.

"Fuck, Shige."

"Wh-what?"

"Don't you ever be self-conscious about your dick again, OK? You're fucking beautiful."

Joshima's hands go to his face just like Tatsuya knew they would, which makes him smile. Joshima's lower half stiffens, his toes curling under his feet and the rim of his entrance visibly tightening.

Tatsuya smirks, letting his hands trace down from Joshima's thighs to slide beneath Joshima's rear, using his thumbs to massage the plump mounds and pull the cheeks apart teasingly. The wrinkles stretch at the tugs, hole opening just slightly to reveal the dark pink inside, a brilliant contrast to the brown of his rim.

"You ever stick anything up here?"

Joshima's eyes bulge out of his head. "What?!" It comes out as a squawk. "Why would I have done _that_?!"

"Hey, hey, it was just a question!" Tatsuya laughs with a shake of his head. "No need to get so defensive." He scoots a little bit closer and plops himself cross-legged on the bedding, then he resituates his grip around Joshima's hips and pulls his lower half up and into his lap, Joshima's legs flailing in the air as he lets out a surprised eep.

He has an even better view now, Joshima's cheeks already nice and spread from the way his legs are situated and rear end upturned at a beautiful angle in his lap. Joshima turns his head, face now a permanent brilliant red, but says nothing, just breathing a bit more quickly than normal.

Tatsuya spits down on Joshima's hole, the white liquid splattering like little points of high-contrast on the dark skin. It drips down slowly into each of the folds of his entrance.

"I'm gonna assume you don't have anything."

"... any what?"

"You know. Lube?"

"N-no! Why would I have anything like that?!"

"That's why I asked." Tatsuya spits again into his hand, coating his middle finger as best he can, then dips it down to start massaging the tight opening. He's slow. He doesn't even go in at first, just applying little points of pressure on the hole, then he lets just the tip of his finger work its way between the folds.

"Let me know if it hurts."

Further. It's tight, and the spit isn't helping much. He watches as Joshima's rim parts to accept his finger bit by bit, Joshima himself with his hands clenched into the comforter and his jaw stiff. 

"Try to relax as best as you can."

"I-it's kinda _hard_ , you know."

Tatsuya wiggles his finger around, which elicits a whimper out of Joshima's throat. It's about halfway in now, but the spit has lost its effect and he's having a hard time getting it in any further.

"... it feels kinda ... hot. I-it's weird ..."

Tatsuya glances back up to see Joshima looking at him, brows still furrowed in nervous anxiety. Tatsuya takes his finger out, scratching the top of his head.

"It would really help if we had something. You don't have any lotion or anything, do you?"

"There might be some in the bathroom? Guys leave all kinds of stuff in there ..."

"I'll go check." Tatsuya backs up until Joshima's rear falls back onto the bedding, then scoots off onto the floor.

"Y-you can't go out there like that!" Joshima's up in an instant, hands pushed into the cush of the bed and looking very much like an angered meerkat.

"It's fine. I'll slip in and out—no one'll even know I was there."

Joshima opens his mouth to protest again, but Tatsuya's already opened the door and escaped out into the hallway. The bathroom is just a few doors down—the only one currently open—so he tip-toes over and sneaks in the door, letting it shut behind him before he turns on the light.

It surprisingly doesn't take him long. The shelves by the mirror are a no-go, but beneath the sink there's a small bottle of cheap, unscented lotion no doubt bought from the Don Quixote. He palms his discovery and slips back out in less than a minute.

When he gets back to the room, Joshima has a blanket over his head and is huddled down at the head of the bed.

"The mission was a success!" Tatsuya shuts the door behind him, and the lump on the bed (appears to) turn and face him. "Did you become the living blob while I was gone?" He chuckles and sits back down on the bed."

Joshima pushes the blanket up slowly, just enough that he can see. "... no one saw you?"

"No one's even awake, Joh. Your roommates are all like fourteen and fifteen years old."

Joshima lets the blanket fall back down silently. He looks like some sort of greenish-blue monster speckled with patches. "... I'm still kinda scared."

Tatsuya runs a hand through his hair. "Scared'a what?"

The blanket creature's head tilts downwards. "I don't know ..."

Tatsuya's quiet a moment. Then he scoots forward to pull the blankety-blob towards him, hoisting him up and into his lap and holding him close. "You know I'd never make you do anything you don't wanna do."

"Yeah ..." Joshima lets himself weigh heavily on Tatsuya's chest.

Tatsuya rests his chin in the top of Joshima's blankety head. He lets out a little sigh, listening to the sound of the rain. It's still pouring just as heavily outside, though the thunder isn't as frequent now, no more rafter-rattling booms to worry about. He lets his fingertips dance lightly on Joshima's shoulders. "... would it help if you were in control?"

The blob that is Joshima glances upwards. "What do you mean?"

"I let you sit in my lap just like this and you can just, you know ... lower yourself on it. You can control everything and even stop if you want to."

Joshima is silent again, and Tatsuya wishes he could see his face to know what he's thinking, but he simply waits.

Then.

"... I think I'd like that."

He lifts up the blanket to his forehead again, giving Tatsuya a little smile. And Tatsuya can barely stand it—the way Joshima's eyes gaze up at him questioningly beneath his lashes, the way little tufts of his hair poke out from above his forehead, the way the blanket over his head does some weird thing to his heart, already beating double-time in his chest—and he can't resist the urge to lean forward and kiss him again.

The blanket, however, is in the way, so it gets discarded not long after, and Joshima is back to straddling Tatsuya's lap, Tatsuya's dick arching up around his backside and poking the area just above his tailbone.

"I've still gotta work you open first, or else it really _might_ hurt a lot ..."

Joshima feels all wonderfully warm in his arms, pressed against his chest. He still has his shirt on, half-falling down his shoulders, but his naked thighs feel plump and soft straddling his waist, his tiny dick just barely poking into his stomach as he resituates himself atop his lap.

Tatsuya grabs the container of lotion from the bedding and squirts a bit into his palm, coating his middle finger as he'd done earlier, and then he's back to massaging Joshima's entrance, reaching around the back of the smaller boy and pulling him closer at the same time. Joshima wraps his arms around Tatsuya's neck, chin to his shoulder with an audible swallow.

It goes in easier this time. Much easier, slipping inside without too much resistance, and he feels Joshima tense atop him as he lets his finger slide all the way in to his knuckle.

"You OK?"

Joshima nods.

So Tatsuya begins working it in and out, slowly at first, then a bit faster, twisting it around in circles and massaging Joshima's insides. He pulls it out after a bit to apply more of the lotion, this time to his index finger as well, and then he carefully, gingerly, works both fingers inside.

Joshima's fingers curl into his skin as he lets out a sharp gasp.

"Just relax ..." Tatsuya pauses in his ministrations until he feels Joshima's muscles start to loosen. It's warm and tight around his fingers, Joshima's hole not used to the invasion but gradually working open as he circles his fingers slowly and draws them in and out past his rim. He's patient, giving the other boy a good long minute with the two fingers inside before he pushes a third finger in to join.

"A-ah ..."

He stops again, waiting for the fierce grip around his shoulders to relax and Joshima's trembling to subside. The soft folds of skin are remarkably loose by this point, and when he begins pushing the three fingers in and out, it's like sliding through soft jelly, all wonderfully pliant and wet and sucking his fingers back in with each push. Joshima's making the most wonderful little noises in the back of his throat, small gasps followed by whimpers that melt into shuddered moans. Tatsuya curls his fingers upwards as though digging inside of him, pleased when Joshima's hips begin subtly moving in time with his ministrations.

He pulls his fingers back out after a bit, letting his hand cup one side of Joshima's rear end and knead it beneath his palm.

"You wanna try now?"

Joshima sits back, his breath still heavy and his face red as his big, round eyes blink anxiously. He licks his lips, fingers absentmindedly curling and uncurling into Tatsuya's shoulders.

Then.

He nods.

Tatsuya finds the lotion again and squirts a bit between his fingers. Sliding them up and down his dick, he gets it good and slick, making sure the entirety of it is covered. He wipes the excess lotion off with a quick swipe up through the valley of Joshima's rear.

"You can go as slow as you need to."

His hands go to Joshima's shoulders first, giving them a reassuring rub, then down to Joshima's hips. He's careful not to put too much weight on them, just ghosting his hands, in case it somehow makes Joshima feel rushed.

"R-right ..." Joshima eyelids are fluttering as he shifts atop Tatsuya's lap. He takes a deep breath, calming himself down, and Tatsuya feels the quiver passing through his thighs subside.

Joshima raises himself up on his knees, leaning forward against Tatsuya's chest. He wraps one arm around Tatsuya's neck to stable himself, and the other goes behind him, finding Tatsuya's dick. His fingers are warm as they curl around the girth, and Tatsuya already feels it stiffening up again in anticipation.

Joshima's hand maneuvers the tip of his dick between the mounds of his rear. The pressure of the plump roundness surrounding him as it slides easily in between them is enough to make Tatsuya's breath hitch and he's not even inside him yet. He licks his lips, fingers gently stroking Joshima's hips as he closes his eyes.

Then the head of his dick meets Joshima's entrance. He can feel those dark folds of skin pressing against him, just barely yielding, but not quite ready to let him in. It's excruciating, almost, to be so close, to feel all that constricting muscle that could be tight around his dick and not be able to just thrust up inside, push his way in. But he knows he can't. God, he can't. Joshima's still trembling in his lap, skinny little fingers pressing Tatsuya's dick towards his hole, and he's scared. Tatsuya _knows_ he's scared. Hell, _Tatsuya's_ scared. He's never done this before. Not with a guy. Not up the ass. He only hopes they're doing things right. That this won't end up hurting Joshima _or_ himself, physically or emotionally.

Joshima's fingers push him just barely inside, his rim sliding over the tip of Tatsuya's head tantalizingly slow, just enough that Joshima can take his hand away and instead focus on simply lowering himself. He takes one breath. Then another. Both of his arms are now around Tatsuya's shoulders. He lowers himself no more than a few millimeters, lotion making Tatsuya's dick slide more easily but not helping Joshima's unpracticed hole widen any less painfully.

Joshima's arms tighten around Tatsuya's shoulders, and he lets out a shuddered gasp. He pauses. Tatsuya can feel his leg muscles shaking against his. Then a few more millimeters. The head isn't even completely in yet, but the tightness around the tip is indescribable. Hot, wet, pressing down all around him, through him. He wants that feeling around his whole dick. But he waits. Waits as tiny tears form in the corners of Joshima's eyes and Joshima's fingernails dig into the back of his shoulders.

"... you OK?"

It's silent a moment. Then Joshima nods. Stilted.

Another breath. Tatsuya feels Joshima slide down on him just a bit more, that feeling of tightness spreading down the tip.

"F-fuck ..." Joshima lets out the breath he'd been holding. "Fuck, fuck, fuck ..."

"Does it hurt?"

Another stilted nod.

"K- ... kinda feels like I'm getting ripped open ..." Joshima laughs, and Tatsuya presses his lips together tight. He's not sure what to say.

Another centimeter or so. Joshima whimpers in the back of his throat.

Tatsuya's hands leave Joshima's hips and go instead to his shoulders, pushing him back just slightly and directing his face where he can see. "Joh ..." Joshima's eyes are bristling with tears, his face blotchy and hair stuck to his forehead in sweaty clumps. Tatsuya strokes his cheeks and pulls their foreheads together, thumbs tracing Joshima's jawline.

"Remember, you can stop if you want ..."

Joshima closes his eyes. Then reopens them. They stare into Tatsuya's, half-lidded, yet somehow defiant.

More this time. The whole head of Tatsuya's dick slides inside, and it takes Joshima's breath away, his whole body rigid against Tatsuya's and his mouth open in an inaudible gasp. Tatsuya glances downwards to where Joshima's lower body is shaking from the exertion, his tiny dick leaking whitish pre-cum as it gets jostled and bounced about.

Tatsuya's hands find Joshima's, their fingers entwining. Then he brings their lips together, soft at first, then with the same fervor they'd had before. Joshima responds with a murmur, practically melting on top of him even as his backside aches and stretches and throbs.

It's a bit easier now with the head inside. Joshima takes an almost desperate breath inside Tatsuya's mouth and lowers himself a good inch this time, sweat forming between their clasped hands. Once inch turns into two which turns into three, Tatsuya's girth filling him up as his knees lower onto him with a smooth glide.

"I'm in." Tatsuya smiles against Joshima's mouth, and Joshima responds with a somewhat anxious nod of his own. "You still feeling OK?"

A moment. Then another nod.

"It feels really ... weird ..."

"A bad weird?"

"No, just ... weird. Full ... somehow. And really, really ... hot."

Tatsuya brings his hands back to Joshima's waist, tracing little circles across his skin.

"Does it still hurt?"

"... a little. It kinda ... aches ..."

"Well. You have a dick up your ass."

Joshima laughs at this, a nervous laugh, but a laugh all the same. He wipes at the corners of his eyes to brush the tears away.

"Once you feel ready, you can try moving. It should probably start feeling better then."

Joshima's hesitant and first, then begins pulling himself back up and off Tatsuya's dick. His eyes squeeze shut and he bites down on his lip, stopping just shy of the tip. A moment to rest. Then he lets himself fall back down. Tatsuya's dick glides easily, working Joshima's rim open, stretching it, all that girth up inside Joshima's rear end and pushing at his walls, at the constricting muscle.

When Joshima comes back down a second time, he takes more of the length in, which brings a shaky gasp to his lips. He speeds up just slightly, all those dark wrinkles now stretched taught and curling deliciously around Tatsuya's length as it slides in and out, in and out.

After a bit, he pauses to re-find his breath, forehead going back to Tatsuya's as sweat leaks down his cheek.

"You want me to take over for a bit?"

Joshima's eyes open slowly. "What do you mean ...?"

Tatsuya just smirks and lowers his hands past Joshima's hips. Once he has a cheek in each palm to support the other boy, he leans backwards, letting himself fall back on the bed.

Joshima lets out a little yelp as they fall, and he finds himself splayed out on Tatsuya's chest with his legs cockeyed and the other's dick still shoved up inside him.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Giving you a break." Tatsuya pushes his face forward to recapture Joshima's lips for a quick kiss, then presses his feet into the bedding for leverage and slowly begins thrusting upwards, dick gliding all the way inside that inviting warmth.

Joshima's head angles backwards, and he lets out a high-pitched moan. "Sh-shit ..."

Tatsuya circles his hips, dick grinding up against Joshima's rim and rubbing up against his prostrate, which sends pinpricks of numb pleasure all up his backside and to the tip of his dick.

"Oh fuck ..."

"Starting to feel better now?"

Joshima nods shakily, his hands clenching the bedsheets to Tatsuya's either side.

Tatsuya resumes his up and down motions, faster this time, and with a bit more power. Each thrust forces Joshima's hole open, delightful friction in the way it tightens around him, wanting him out, pushing him out, but at the same time, sucking him in.

"It f-feels like your dick's gonna ... c-come all the way out my ... mouth ..."

Joshima's breaths are growing more and more labored. His back is half-arched as his hips begin moving in time with Tatsuya's thrusts, instinctively pushing themselves further down with each upward motion.

"I-it feels like you're going ... all the way through me ..."

Tatsuya's hands leave Joshima's hips, no longer needing the grip. It's all around him, suffocating him, so hot, too hot, warm and wet and soft and tight around him on all sides. Each thrust works the skin of his dick back and forth, back and forth across the head, pumping it, harder and harder. The bed is creaking beneath them, the cush of it helping his hips bounce up with each upward force, sending his dick up inside Joshima to the base, flush with his skin, so deep the tip of his dick feels like it's burning.

His hands move up Joshima's shoulders, up his neck, to his cheeks, pulling his head in so their mouths can mash together, slick against each other and fighting to hang on as their bodies rub and slide.

"I wanna go through you ... I wanna be all the way through you ..." He takes a gulping breath as his fingers wind through Joshima's hair. "Fuck, Shige, you feel amazing ..."

Again and again.

There's the sound of skin on skin as Joshima's rear end meets Tatsuya's hips with dull slaps. Hard. The feeling of all that soft roundness yielding against him, melding against him for just that instant before bouncing upwards and gliding along the length of his dick, all the way out to the tip, Joshima's hole narrowing just before it's wrenched back open again.

His dick feels like it's on fire.

A fire spreading out from between his legs, up through his abdomen. It curls through his skin, making his nerves dance, a strange numbness clouding his head.

He doesn't last much longer after that, which sends a pang of shame through the back of his brain. He'd hoped to get Joshima off first, but now his body is saying that's not possible. That's not even _nearly_ possible, and he forgives himself because this is only the third time he's done this and Joshima's ass is like nothing he's ever felt before and now Joshima is sucking his tongue up and out of his mouth like this isn't the first time he's ever kissed someone and it's all too much and all at once.

The last thing that flashes through his mind before white explodes in his head is that they'd forgotten to use a condom.

But it's too late now.

All the flames rush out from between his legs as he buries himself up inside Joshima. He bites down on his lip and lets out a long low groan that bubbles out from his chest. "Shit, shit, shiiiiiiiiit ..."

His toes dig into the bedding, and for a second it's so bright he can't see. He doesn't realize this is because he's closed his eyes until his mind drops back into reality, and the first thing he sees as he feels himself empty deep up inside Joshima's rear is Joshima's eyes widening with a start. Then Joshima's shoulders curl in on themselves and he's letting out a shuddered moan of his own.

"Sh-shit, it's b-bu- ... burning ... h-hot ..."

Tatsuya's panting hard now, sweat dripping down his cheeks and temples to spatter the comforter, but the heat is leaking out of him. He gives another set of long, slow thrusts to work the last of the cum out, feeling it coat his dick and fill up the hot space around him. He feels himself begin to grow limp and drops his hips to let himself fall out.

He lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been keeping, giving himself a moment to relax his muscles. Then he abruptly rolls Joshima over and onto his back, effectively changing their places.

Joshima lets out an eep, flopping back on the bedding with his arms splayed out to his sides. His eyes search for some kind of answer and he almost pushes himself back up until Tatsuya's between his legs, four fingers plunging into his already slick entrance and ripping his rim back open.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck ...!" Joshima's head goes back, his eyes clenched shut. Tatsuya wastes no time in building up a rhythm similar to what he had before. He shoves his fingers in up to his knuckles and watches the dark hole get twisted open, gaping every time he pulls them back out and pink, so much bright pink from deep inside as the cum he'd shot up not more than thirty seconds prior coats his hand.

He leans down and finds Joshima's dick, now soaked with pre-cum. It's tiny but warm and soft between his lips as he takes it between them, tongue swirling over the tip, working the skin up and down. His head bobs as Joshima's dick stretches and pulls and tugs. He sucks it up into his mouth, feeling it grow just enough that he can develop a shaky rhythm to match his fingers, tongue batting it back and forth with each bob and sloppy smacks escaping from between his lips.

Joshima's back arches up from the comforter, and a deep moan racks his frame.

"Oh god, oh god ..."

Tatsuya's twists his hand up inside Joshima's hole, and Joshima lets out a high-pitched whimper. "Oh gooooooooodd ..."

Joshima doesn't last long. Tatsuya feels the walnut-sized lump of skin in his mouth curl upwards with a tell-tale twist, and then Joshima lets out a long moan that spirals upwards until it's practically inaudible. A bitter taste bursts through Tatsuya's mouth as the other boy cums, and the pressure around his hand intensifies, Joshima's rim convulsing and throbbing against his skin as the wave of orgasm rushes through him.

A little smile passes his lips as he leans up and lets Joshima fall from his mouth. He pulls out his fingers, watching Joshima's entrance continue to pulsate. Little specks of cum still dot the dark skin around it, a dribble of white wetness leaking out from the hole itself.

Tatsuya wipes his mouth and sits all the way up, a hand reaching out to poke its way up Joshima's chest to his chin.

"You feelin' OK?"

Joshima's eyes are half-closed as he takes long, slow, even breaths on the bed. His chest is rising and falling with a gentle rhythm that puts Tatsuya at ease and entices him to trace soft circles down across his shirt to his bare stomach, poking teasingly into his belly button.

"Y-yeah ..." Joshima smiles goofily. "Sh-shit, yeah ... let's do this again sometime."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Tatsuya laughs and leans down to plant a kiss on Joshima's lips. This one lacks the fervor and need from earlier, both of them tired and spent, but is still tinged with a lingering desire that neither of them quite want to part with.

The thunder has faded by the time Tatsuya's pulling Joshima up to the head of the bed to tuck him under the covers. Now there's just a soft, constant rain falling against the side of the house. It's calming. Lulling. Tatsuya reaches over to switch off the lamp on the bedside table, the room going dark.

Joshima is still warm next to him. Hot, almost. A thin layer of sweat remains along his hairline and across his cheekbones, gathering on the tip of his nose. He pulls the smaller boy in close to him as he makes himself comfortable beneath the covers.

It's a small bed. Only made for one, and only one pillow to boot. But he makes it work, gently directing Joshima's head to his chest to save on space. Joshima's bare legs are the only part of him which feels cool, and the crispness of the sheets now encasing them feel wonderfully refreshing. He traces a hand down Joshima's hip, following the curve of his rear end and along his thigh, pulling it up to lie on top of his own legs. His fingers absentmindedly stroke the soft skin as he feels Joshima settle against him. The thighs are significantly rougher than he's used to having sleep in his bed—none of that freshly-shaved smoothness—but this only makes the skinny, bony little thing next to him all the more precious.

"Comfy?"

Joshima nods against his chest, one arm draped over Tatsuya's waist.

"Nothing ... hurts ... does it?"

It's silent for a moment. Then. "... it, uh ... it does kinda ache a bit."

Tatsuya finds himself at a loss for words again, so he simply continues rubbing Joshima's thigh.

"... but I _did_ have a dick in my ass." Joshima grins up at Tatsuya, and Tatsuya flicks his nose with a laugh.

It's quiet then, aside from the rain. The two of them curled close in the middle of that dark room as the storm dies down outside.

Joshima is warm against him. All folds of soft skin on top of gangly bone and done up in a mound of damp, sweaty fabric. That same lanky mess that's had a hold of his heart for the last year. Ever since he saw him playing alone in the corner of the hotel that one night, completely lost in his music, lost in his _sweatshirt_ , his eyes sharp behind the thick rims of his glasses and his hair not having seen a comb in days.

"I think I'm gonna find a place of my own."

"Hm?"

He feels Joshima's head move against his chest and knows he must be glancing up at him.

"I'm gonna move out of my folks' house. Find a place of my own. It's time I did it anyway. Maybe this was for the best."

"Where are you gonna go?"

Tatsuya shakes his head. "I'll figure it out. It'll work out."

Silence.

Joshima's finger is tracing mindless patterns atop Tatsuya's chest.

"... but once I find a place, I ... I'd like it if it you could come over. Whenever you want, I mean. You could ... kinda make yourself at home."

Joshima's eyes flutter closed as a soft smile plays on his lips.

"... I'd like that."


End file.
